There is no judgment here. I am daily working on my own challenges for creating a healthy and happy life. But having been in functional medicine now nearly twenty years, I can say that these ten reasons are by far the more common reasons I hear from clients on why they struggle to get into a season in life that truly honors their own needs for creating a healthy and happy life. Let me know if these resonate with you.
I Don't Know Where to Start
Sound familiar? Although it seems every guru has their quick fix solution, these rally aren't often all that successful because what got you where you are at today, wasn't just a single misstep, right? We are complex beings with lots of working parts, many of which we struggle to have any control. However, often it is within our power to take time to learn and creating that safe space for my clients is one of my absolute favorite things to do. If you are open to learning, then connect with me because I have a number of pathways that might really ground you and give you the support you need to implement life long changes. I've literally been working my entire life on my own self-help strategies, to the point of having earned six degrees and a hole lot of certificates. I have the credentials to help, and the personal experience at overcoming steep obstacles to make it real for you. I don't want you to be dependent upon me. I want to empower you and I am hoping you might find connection with a few like-minded, truly amazing people.
I Don't Have the Time to Invest in Myself
This one is a huge hurdle. Huge. I get it. I have six children of my own, homeschooled them, and was on-call 24/7 for my midwifery clients, while earning my doctorate degree, attending law school, and participating in many leadership roles. I look back now and haven't a clue how I did all that, but in spite of looking like I was winning, I can see now in hindsight, I wasn't investing in my relationships as I wish I would have and I absolutely wasn't investing in myself. I was growing more and more overwhelmed each day, and my health was declining faster each year.
We all get only 24 hours each day, much of that we spend sleeping, or at least trying. What we do with that time is our own personal decision. No, truly. I know those of you with a martyr mindset feel you have little control. I know because as a midwife, people depended on me - life or death. As a mother of six, who I also educated, there was no delegating this responsibility. These were significant and consuming demands that meant caring for myself was always the next thing on the list. The reality is though that not one of us can pour from an empty cup so you will only get away with this for so long, then you will have to make time to try and repair the damage, to yourself and those your less than all might have trampled along the way.
What I know to be true today is that the greatest love of our lives, is ourself. Our greatest responsibility in this life journey, is also ourself. We have to secure our home, before we can care for anyone else - no matter how lofty you believe your life calling. I get it though; when you are already overwhelmed and just barely keeping your head above water, you haven't any spare mental energy to change your patterns now. It is hard to take even a baby step. I can help you here. I broke free and I was able to make myself a priority, pour back into my cup, and have taken notes the entire way so I can help you too. Let's connect.
My Family Won't Be Supportive
This is likely true. To some degree, your current routine and habits are benefitting others because you are pouring out of your own cup to meet the needs of others. Those who truly love us though, want the best for us, and therefore, they will adjust to assure our needs are met. This may require clear communication regarding your own needs, which you may not even recognize right now, and it may require drawing clear boundaries but those relationships that are genuine will flourish because of your growing health and happiness. Those who are simply taken advantage will not handle this well, which can be a really tough realization. Our traumas can cause us to attach to unhealthy relationships and not honor our own boundaries. Healing this is a huge part of becoming healthy and happy.
Eating Right is Too Hard & Expensive
Not all our issues are about our food and in spite of what most functional medicine clinicians will tout, we can not fix everything by eating clean. However, if you have been medicating yourself with food, comforting yourself with baked goods, then consider how expensive these poor food choices really are in the overall picture. Health deteriorates and medical bills escalate, not to mention your body and brain slowing down, taking with it our own vitality.
Like any habits and routines we acquire through life, much of it is about needing to get through what we are enduring in our environment - survival strategy. We will work together to address habits, find what works for you as an individual, and create a new normal, but an enjoyable, sustainable normal that you will naturally turn to even on the tough days. Again, I am not perfect. We don't need to be perfect to step into our most favorite version of ourselves. I want you to get familiar though, with just how good it feels to eat nutritions food.
I Can't Afford a Lifestyle Program or to Hire a Health Coach
Fair. I'll share that this is one of my own self-limiting beliefs too. Am I worth it? Most of us recognize the importance of education, how self-empowering it is and even, how it can return great rewards on the initial investment. Imagine being fit, pain free, have great energy, and being truly happy. Although investing in oneself can seem unsurmountable with everything else creating demands on you as well, this is one of those priorities that once you put it first, everything else just falls in line. Investing in yourself can materialize into a very secure and abundant life, because it is hard to comprehend what you are capable of when you are living life at your best.
It's time to think differently. Don't accept anything less for yourself than what you deserve. My programs use to be several thousands of dollars, but now much of that education has been brought online so you can move through at your own pace, and you always have access. Meeting with me on a monthly basis to check-in as you continue to work through all the additional offerings, is no more than a fancy dinner date or if you're speaking my language, a dance lesson or two. Your health is one of the most valuable investments in your life. I have solutions for all budgets. I've been the mom of six, single income, even no income, and I know how to overcome. I can teach you too.
But You Don't Accept Insurance
Do we really have a healthcare system, or is it more about sickcare? The average visit is 6 minutes long and the goal is to find a problem that insurance will cover and a medication they can prescribe. Actually getting healthy isn't a big part of the picture, if at all. Our system of healthcare doesn't even recognize pre-diabetes or fatty liver disease, even an overtaxed nervous system, a hormone system out of balance, or gut dysbiosis. If there is any potential for coverage, then full blown disease must be present and even then coverage isn't always extended.
If you want to get healthy, in this country, that is a personal investment. You can file for reimbursement and you can use your insurance for labs and diagnostics, that might be helpful, even prescriptions, but again, we're talking about a payment about as much as your cell phone bill, no membership fees, no concierge fees, just pay for what you get as you go. Less than your deductible.
I Don't Have the Self-Discipline
This is something one has to practice to be really good at, and as I am sure you know, it is easier to exercise when you are young, strong, and healthy. This is true too with food. The more you weigh, the more your hormones are out of balance, and the worse your cravings. Sometimes taking the natural and holistic approach means we have to first utilize some conventional medicine strategies so we have enough rope to pull us into shore. I can help you navigate your options, both the art and science of healthcare. As you see positive changes, your self-discipline will grow. Our connection and community will also be a great accountability partner and offer you encouragement.
What If I Give Up? I've Tried Before.
Life is a series of ups and downs, efforts and failures, a bunch of baby steps that ultimately do get us somewhere. What if you don't try again? It's always seemingly too hard in the beginning, but we can choose happiness to some degree, and engage in just the process of learning. It's funny what can happen when we muster the littlest bit of effort, over and over again, how that seems to build upon itself. There is no judgment here. Personally, I had to take a few years just working on sleep and resting. It was many years before I could commit to exercise. Food remains a challenge for me. We all have our own vices. Relationships, traumas, responsibilities, boundaries, addictions... it's all a lot. I show up very genuine. Yoga is often a group of us in pajamas, no make-up and really bad bed hair. Sometimes we even turn our cameras off. This is your journey. Your commitment is to yourself. Meet yourself where you are at, but know that self-compassion means honoring that sometimes we just need a break. Allow that time and then get back to work.
I Just Don't Have the Confidence. I Don't Think I Belong.
We don't always really belong where we feel like we belong. I am old so of course, I think of Cheers - the bar where everyone knows your name. This may feel like home, but often bars aren't where we should really belong. If your friends and family are all obese, a bit unregulated, a little toxic, while this may be a comfortable space without expectations, or at least you know the rules, is this really where you belong? Is it honoring to you? What if you step out of your comfort zone a bit, somewhere you feel you don't quite belong, embrace the intimidation and give that some time so that you start to recognize that you are leveling up in life. You are growing strong, fitter, healthier, happier, and creating a more abundant life?
I Was Planning to Wait Until Tomorrow
Yep, we are often the one we make promises to and don't keep. Imagine what that speaks to your cells. Imagine why we feel stuck, or not worth it, because we tell ourselves that every day. What if that first step is to just observe or to unload a bit of burden? What if that first step actually helps bring your head above water a bit more, rather than create more distress in your life?
December 21st is my birthday. My 49th birthday, the last year of my fourth decade, and I am determined to be fit by fifty. I am on my way too. Have you seen my arms lately?! Join me in this journey. December 21st is also Yule, and what I love about sharing my birthday with Yule is that this is the shortest day of the year, the darkest day, and the first day of winter. This is the season of turning into self. This is when we stop performing for others. The flowers are gone. The trees have dropped their leaves. We are all giving into ourselves. We trust that when spring comes, all will be well again and we can let loose our beauty for others, but right now, this time is mine. I am going to self-invest, pour into my own cup, honor my needs. I am worth it.
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